How do you stage an intervention for an enabler?
My Mother-in-law has a boyfrined who has major OCD, it’s to the point where its not only effecting his life in negative ways but it’s also effecting her life. She is so wrapped up in not upsetting him and trying to make sure things are exactly the way he needs them to be that her world is getting smaller and smaller and it’s effected her relationship with her children and her grandchildren.
Her boyfriend’s OCD manifests it’s self in the form of obsessing over his cars, servicing his 3 cars and my mother-in-law’s car over and over again. He compulsively has to check the cars during the day and even in the middle of the night, it’s to the point that he can not hold down a job. He is also obsessed with germs, and conspiracy theories about the following: Mad Cow disease, chemical warfare, GMOs, and Bacteria created by the government. (super germs) This has gotten to the point that he will not eat my cooking because he believes I have too much red meat in my diet and therefore have Madcow disease.
Sadly all of the above has made my mother-in-law’s life hard, on her birthday we tried to go out for a "ladies nightout" thing and he called her every 15mins reminding her to use had sanitizer and use only paper and plastic cups because glasses at bars can be contaminated.
After that night he made her sleep on an air mattress for 4 weeks because he thought she might have brought something home, the problem is she goes along with it, and she does this all the time.
What is the best way to go about an intervention for her, how can we help her get out of this relationship and heal so that she does not get into another just like it? Please provide links if you can, thanks!
She has come to us for help, and she had confided in us that she feels trapped and she even left once but she feels guilty and always goes back.
I agree therapy is needed